omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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