He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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