You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
