Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
