woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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