I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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