trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
