I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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