someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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