is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just gargled with NyQuil
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
