How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
