the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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