Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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