he thought i was a dude.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My life is pants optional.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize