dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
