He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
