Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
