I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize