Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
