me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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