Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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