Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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