Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
