And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
