oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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