I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
