I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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