Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
