I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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