I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
