That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
