I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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