He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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