I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
