hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
