shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The beer is more important than you right now.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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