i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
