I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize