break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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