These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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