found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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