Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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