I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
