My sheets look like a crime scene.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Buhtt sex?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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