Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
