Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
