dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
