Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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