Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
