You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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