WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
