i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
