Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
