i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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