This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think my fart just growled at me.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
