he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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