it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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