Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
