I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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