Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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